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Morning conflict (Free verse) by INTRANSIT Longing for my jump start
yet resisting, I feel your pull.
I will not give in!
Iwill grind you into powder!
You retaliate by grasping my
nostrils with your brutal perfume.
I attempt at turning tables
and scald your remains.
Saturated, you leak into the urn
and I am triumphant.
Alas I am not. For I drink from thy urn.
Up the ladder:
she wonders,
Down the ladder:
Jerk ?? Circle
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.3333335
Posted: September 24, 2002 5:42 AM PDT; Last modified: September 24, 2002 5:42 AM PDTWeighted score: 6.174396 Overall Rank: 1020 Comments:
[4]
harrytuttle @ 208.20.220.69
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24-Sep-02/6:47 AM
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Reply
Not too bad, but there's too much mixing of old and new style's, or something. Don't know what I'm talking about....
This is adorable. I don't understand the lack of triumph at the end.
Interesting view 7.
I usually take against archaisms, but 'thy urn' works a treat. This is epic yet domestic. Ace.
ah, but you are triumphant! you have the hart's blood! you have slain thy enemy, and eaten his still-beating (or, still brewing, as the case may be) heart! BRAVO!
Thank you one! Thank you all! I am understood and I know what I'm looking for. See you all in 5 with more:)
ashes are sometimes best rivered. 7.c
...revered. Good stuff, NTRNST; reminiscent of....Poe?
20 oz. ought to do it nicely. Nicely done.
Very enjoyable and thanks for the nice things you said about my clock, it means a lot to me. Sometimes it is all just tock! See part 2 just published-oh 10/10 by the way.
yehaa you get an 8 my friend
Saskae
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