Bottom

Member since 2002 · Posted 7 Oct 2002 · 4 comments

Being at the bottom is a lonely place Even when there is people around me I feel as though not a soul is close When I'm touched lonliness still reminds me that its not real and that I'm truly in a dark room by myself I hear voices that echo across the dark gloomy walls but the sound is just coming from the only person that I truly know is there myself

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 4.60 weighted 4.80 rank 11173 views 168 View voting details →

10 votes so far. Yours would make 11.10 votes so far

4 comments

[7] vulcan 7-Oct-02/7:39 AM Reply

I think if you start with"There at the bottom is a lonely place"it would seem as if you're speaking from there.(So the force of personality shall work better in that way).good!I like personally-felt poems.(I had something very much like this esp the end of it!i.e.I understand!)6/8

[6] Nicholas Jones 7-Oct-02/8:41 AM Reply

It is lonely at the bottom. Being lonely means that nothing cna be a comfort. Sometimes having no punctutation is good, but here it isn't.

[7] Christof 7-Oct-02/8:47 AM Reply

You need to punctuate and also it should be 'there are people' in line 2. I really do get the impression of your thoughts echoing around though.

[10] horus8 22-Jan-03/7:47 PM Reply

Have no fear..it's only a black out while eating at mcdonalds, feel that...there there...hold my mcnuggets.