Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

The Thought Of It (Free verse) by Christof
I thought: Who would leave a child outside On a night like this? As its howl curled out And curdled the air Between us and the baby We were thinking of. You must go, you said, and help. The howl cracked into yelping And we knew that the sound Was a fox in a trap And its cry tied us up With our unconceived child And the stars and the fox All prisoners.

Up the ladder: On a chill morning
Down the ladder: Memphis Skyline

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 30
.. 33
.. 32
.. 00
.. 10
.. 21
.. 11
.. 00
.. 01
.. 10
.. 32

Arithmetic Mean: 5.7777777
Weighted score: 5.7758546
Overall Rank: 1740
Posted: October 10, 2002 1:32 AM PDT; Last modified: October 10, 2002 7:38 AM PDT
View voting details
The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:

god'swife

Comments:
[10] god'swife @ 209.179.135.62 | 10-Oct-02/7:23 AM | Reply
lines 4,5, & 6 are confusing. The last image I believe would work better if you replaced 'Like' with 'All' the poor dear really is a prisoner.
[n/a] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 > god'swife | 10-Oct-02/7:27 AM | Reply
Originally I had a question mark at the end of line 3 - would this make it easier? What is it you find confusing in these lines? You may be right about the lastline...
[10] god'swife @ 209.179.135.62 > Christof | 10-Oct-02/7:34 AM | Reply
the question mark is a good idea.
[10] god'swife @ 209.179.135.62 | 10-Oct-02/7:32 AM | Reply
"We were thinking of" you end the line on a preposition, and I my mind expects a new thought afterward.
[n/a] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 > god'swife | 10-Oct-02/7:36 AM | Reply
I'm not sure if this is an English/American thing, because to my ear the cadence works fine. I could change it to 'planning' or 'imagining' but then again that might lead your mind forward. Perhaps reinstating the question mark will cement the different clauses more effectively. Let's give it a go.
[10] god'swife @ 209.179.135.62 | 10-Oct-02/7:50 AM | Reply
Oh my, what a difference that makes. Who'd a thunk it.
[n/a] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 > god'swife | 10-Oct-02/7:54 AM | Reply
Amazing really. Thanks for your assistance my dear,that's what this site is all about ain't it?
[10] god'swife @ 209.179.135.62 > Christof | 10-Oct-02/8:05 AM | Reply
Who knows! We might all just be mice in a lab. Making the best of it is always a creative act. We are happy in our delision and that's all that matters. Actually as I have stated 1,000x's this site has done wonders for me. Glad to help.
[6] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 | 10-Oct-02/1:29 PM | Reply
neato. pretty damn neato. 6.
[9] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 | 10-Oct-02/1:42 PM | Reply
christof, you are honed razor sharp these days. i bled, reading this.
[8] Frass @ 151.200.58.188 | 10-Oct-02/6:32 PM | Reply
Very strong, Christof. Zzin informed me you hit number 1 on p'ranker; good for you. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. But, we're hot on your heals.
[8] Nicholas Jones @ 137.44.1.200 | 11-Oct-02/5:50 AM | Reply
Very nice indeed. I like the use of curled, and then curdled.
[10] razorgrin @ 192.197.142.102 | 16-Oct-02/7:32 AM | Reply
That's amazing. The fox reminded me of several disturbing childhood memories of a fur farm. Chilly.
[n/a] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 > razorgrin | 16-Oct-02/7:34 AM | Reply
Funny, my poems always seem to be reminding you of something disturbing. I do apologise.
[9] daniella @ 200.45.51.140 | 19-Oct-02/9:45 PM | Reply
pure imagery, sends me back to memories. fine and true.
[10] poetandknowit @ 67.40.59.182 | 19-Nov-02/7:23 PM | Reply
Although this poem has a lost sense of place, it more than makes up for it in depth. Best poem on the site. Hands down.
[n/a] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 > poetandknowit | 20-Nov-02/1:02 AM | Reply
Why thanks very much - you are a gentleman sir. I've given up on birds, or at least cut back, thanks to you. Maybe it's done me some good.
[10] poetandknowit @ 65.101.213.115 > Christof | 20-Nov-02/10:06 AM | Reply
Seriously. This blew me away. Send it out.
[10] poetandknowit @ 67.40.59.182 | 19-Nov-02/7:24 PM | Reply
And no birds!
[10] poetandknowit @ 65.101.213.227 | 28-Jan-03/11:39 PM | Reply
Still the best poem on the site. I would kill the all cap thing, but damn, who cares, this is just good. Had to come read it again.
[n/a] Christof @ 217.44.71.127 > poetandknowit | 14-Feb-03/8:13 AM | Reply
So when you coming out to London then? Zzin mentioned something a while ago. Really glad you like this poem. It's my personal favourite.
[9] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 16-Jun-03/3:00 PM | Reply
Again, you amaze me, incredible awareness here, really.
[5] EAger to Offend @ 204.225.154.253 | 16-Jul-03/2:30 PM | Reply
Although this is not my favourite of yours it is another fine example of your knack for taking the real and the possible and making them one.
[10] poetandknowit @ 65.101.213.218 | 2-Oct-03/10:05 PM | Reply
Damn I love this poem. I think I love you Christof.
[n/a] Christof @ 217.44.71.156 > poetandknowit | 3-Oct-03/5:21 AM | Reply
I can't belive this poem is nearly a year old. My God, how time has flown. Now looky here, you've still not come over to England like you were supposed to. Why not?
285 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2022 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001