DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

geometry

Member since 2001 · Posted 16 Mar 2002 · 12 comments

i laugh as the blood makes recognizable shapes on the tile floor i don't need this anymore how can love be a cradle when the baby is stillborn? how can life deem me able when i am only able to harm? my tears streak down my face and are pink on the dirty floor, who needs thought anymore? how can embrace be a cure to an incurable disease? how can i be sure that there is reason to breathe???

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37 votes so far. Yours would make 38.37 votes so far

12 comments

[0] anonymous 1-Jul-01/1:39 AM Reply

interesting connection between the title and the second line. The first semi-stanze seems to be much more literal than the second. It makes the poem internally inconsistant, and the thought muddled.

[0] anonymous 2-Jul-01/4:55 PM Reply

this comes close to having real power. I think the rhythm is just a little off. maybe more punctuation would help; I could be misreading it. "How can" -- jolts me out of the flow of it, both times. like you're resorting to filling in the gaps instead of bleeding out the words.

[0] anonymous 24-Jul-01/12:59 PM Reply

i'm so sorry for you

[5] deleted user 6-May-02/3:16 AM Reply

I really like most of the poem, but the rhyme scheme feels imposed. I like how the rhymes in the first half sound accidental, but in the second half they sound contrived.

[6] ErgoErgun 13-May-02/12:16 AM Reply

I like your meaning and parts of your imagery, but it could be made even more powerful. Extend the baby/killer dichotomy and tell me how that relates to innocence. Not bad though. =]

[2] hoopoe 21-May-02/11:32 AM Reply

self-pity puts me off and never seems like poetry to me; almost its impossible. poetry a true voice, I hear self-deception here.. and real poetic ability, squandered,

[7] emilyowey 21-Jul-02/8:45 AM Reply

Wow, that's so powerful.

[7] emilyowey 21-Jul-02/8:47 AM Reply

Wow, that's so powerful.

[7] emilyowey 21-Jul-02/8:50 AM Reply

Wow, that's so powerful.

[7] emilyowey 21-Jul-02/8:50 AM Reply

Wow, that's so powerful.

[7] emilyowey 21-Jul-02/8:50 AM Reply

Wow, that's so powerful.

[8] Bachus 29-May-03/9:39 AM Reply

Time for a skaskowskian run children!