poemranker ::The Queen & The Locksmith by Jeremi B. Handrinos

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Sonnet № 36817

The Queen & The Locksmith

by Jeremi B. Handrinos

Member since 2003 · Posted 17 Jan 2003 · Edited 6 Jul 2003 · 5 comments

From sunset 'til dawn, I'm grinding your keys. It's become assembly line robotic. The truth leaves me crippled, forced to beg "please". Smirking, you herald me, "New & Ionic". You bid me, "Need nothing", but file your lines. Sparks, and the wheel's shrill, all days & all ways. Your heel in the small of me back defines. Each way a man loves, and to what he prays. You chained me with habits, and claimed, "'twas best". That a man could be drug held by your form. Needing your nature, I did not resist. My compulsive drive bid, "drone in your swarm". Now I'm hypnotised by your soft wing's song. It speaks to the yearn, I have too belong".

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5 comments

[7] Thyme 20-Jan-03/8:31 PM Reply
Liked your second stanza but you lost me in the first - couldn't comprehend lines 4 through 9 and I thought the rhythm was a little stilted in this stanza.
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos › Thyme 6-Jul-03/8:01 PM Reply
Now does it do it for you?
[10] thepinkbunnyofdoom 6-Jul-03/8:16 PM Reply
Wow. I understand it, and yet I don't. Confusing to say the least, but I'm quite impressed. -10-
[1] Sasha 14-Apr-04/7:30 PM Reply
Not Iambic pentameter. Forced. Inverted, introverted. A bad poem in general
[n/a] Shuushin › Sasha 14-Apr-04/7:35 PM Reply
Don't make me give my "sonnets don't have to be iambic pentameter" speech again...