The Feild In Which I Live

Member since 2003 · Posted 27 Feb 2003 · 7 comments

There is a fence in the feild where i live. It is not white nor polished nor smooth. It is only brown. And there is a figure over there. Behind the fence. i think it is a man with a huge metal pipe through his head. And then there is a mouth on the face of this man. It spits out blood evry fourth hour, thinking that there is no life in this feild by the fence. There is something living. There is the man,and the brown fence by which he crouches. There is his mouth and there is his blood; and then for what reason i do not know, then there is me.

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7 comments

[8] Ranger 27-Feb-03/2:53 PM Reply

Wow. Image of a man with a metal pipe through his head...ouch.
Why does this poem seem so damn good?

[9] middenHeap › Ranger 27-Jan-04/4:08 PM Reply

because it is.

[8] Ranger 27-Feb-03/2:53 PM Reply

Love the name, by the way.

[7] Bachus 27-Feb-03/4:53 PM Reply

Perhaps you swing pipe. though small and just an elbow joint with a little sodder and brazing... who knows, free plumbing. Your spelling of field is really worth the read though, i would imagine, right?

[8] Bill Z Bub 28-Feb-03/8:40 PM Reply

i before e.
what does it mean?
e after i,
this poem is fine.

in fact i think it may haunt my confined sleep tonight.
the mouth on the face of the man spitting blood,
breathing life and death by the fence...
brrrrrrrrr.

[10] god'swife 28-Feb-03/10:44 PM Reply

Get rid of 'then'int he last line otherwise perfect. 10

[9] middenHeap 27-Jan-04/4:13 PM Reply

Was the spelling of field really intentional? I agree with god'swife, the last line -- content of which is superb, no complaints there -- should be tidied up. If not by deleting the extra then, at least break it differently.