poemranker ::3am and six cups of coffee gets you nowhere by Blindproject217

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Free verse № 48074

3am and six cups of coffee gets you nowhere

Member since 2003 · Posted 26 Apr 2003 · 5 comments

As the wind picks up I am taken With the rest of the masses Swayed be the torrent Sealed in the seplachure Encased in the tomb Driven by the tide That idly laps on the shore Waiting to be beached From a nobody life existence A boredom mortality Take your hands from my neck Long enough for me to breathe Ive been choking you down For far to long This is not how it should be But we were the ones who put you here We created you with our hunger The thirst we long for To take us away from here From this hell we’ve created Now we need you Like a drug An addiction that cannot be pacified So in exchange for the fix You replace me with yourself And I will become the model citizen Another puppet to set the trend Another slave, from my own willing heart (there is probably some spelling mess ups and junk, but im just to tired to care. This is just a first draft by i dont know how to bend it the way i want, advice and crit is welcome even from you horus, and by the way thank you.)

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mean 5.14 weighted 5.04 rank 7191 views 185 View voting details →

7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

5 comments

[7] Bachus 26-Apr-03/8:30 PM Reply
sepulchral, or sepulcher, but not what you have, because it's not a word. Other then that, there are about ten grammaric goof ups and a couple other typos, but it's the thought that counts.
[n/a] Blindproject217 › Bachus 27-Apr-03/1:41 PM Reply
Thanks, spell check wasnt working on my computer for some reason, Its working now. Im just not sure why.... I hate my computer.
[7] richa 27-Apr-03/4:59 AM Reply
the changing lines of thought work well with the flowing nature of this poem
[8] INTRANSIT 27-Apr-03/5:48 AM Reply
not bad 'tall