poemranker ::Frozen by Mona Lisa

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Free verse № 48745

Frozen

Member since 2003 · Posted 8 May 2003 · Edited 11 Feb 2005 · 6 comments

Beneath my veil of skin I freeze, As his coarse palms roughly fondle me, His breath smells of liquor, And I feel his cracked lips kiss my breast. He wants to assert his power through sex, That’s his weakness (and mine) I grasp the corners of the duvet, As if it was my childhood Care Bear, He grabs my face with a ferocity, So he can watch my eyes moist with pleasure, Soon he will cry once I can’t take anymore, And he will sleep through my insomnia. He wont let me clean myself, Says I am insinuating his uncleanliness. So I will seek refuge, Away from his hands, Soon I will be thawed, Free as sea strands.

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mean 5.50 weighted 5.06 rank 6678 views 215 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

6 comments

[10] horus8 8-May-03/2:18 PM Reply
Not bad at all.
[7] Alyssa91 20-May-03/7:30 PM Reply
WoW! i liked it....it was great.
[8] richa 12-Aug-03/8:55 AM Reply
good poem
'He wants to assert his power through sex,' is not needed as the poem communicates this fine.
[9] http://mulberryfairy 12-Aug-03/9:41 AM Reply
Yes, very nice. You did a great job of showing how the narrator wasn't allowing herself to be just a victim of his somewhat abusive sex. Powerful.
[10] Bachus 16-Nov-03/1:50 AM Reply
Lovely.
[10] Dovina 11-Feb-05/3:38 PM Reply
I didn't read it back in '03, but this edit is intense. I'd take the parens away from "mine" and the "a" from "ferocity," otherwise great.