poemranker ::Her Light by wunboi

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Concrete № 5050

Her Light

by wunboi

Member since 2002 · Posted 17 Jul 2002 · Edited 17 Jul 2002 · 5 comments

With the light behind you Your sillouhette is made It is your simple presence Made welcome in my cave If you could tell me that you love me If you would wash me with your hair With the shadow of your body You will dry away my care It is the strawberry burnished brightness Of your ivory polished skin That is the smallest measure Of your burning light within

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mean 4.89 weighted 4.90 rank 9858 views 184 View voting details →

19 votes so far. Yours would make 20.19 votes so far

5 comments

[0] horus8 19-Jul-02/3:20 PM Reply
Wunbol is it here is some advice don't lose your day job. cause you're writing is somewhere between condomed gerbals and pre-school cot pissing. So indulge that strawberry
[n/a] wunboi 23-Jul-02/4:17 AM Reply
whorus
many thanks for your replies . I value the comments of someoen who wrties in english as a second languge
wunboi
[7] PawnedTidal 8-Sep-02/8:55 AM Reply
I like.
[8] Christof 20-Sep-02/6:09 AM Reply
I think Horus is being somewhat harsh - the second stanza especially is full of longing, and I like that.
[0] hipster flare 1-Oct-03/11:31 AM Reply
A Concrete poem is a conglomeration of words (sometimes one word repeated over and over) whose overall shape is a key to the concept it presents. There are no truly agreed-upon conventions, but a natural elegance of arrangement is often striven for.

Sometimes the poem can be read in multiple directions from different starting points, depending on the shape of the form and the curiousity of the reader.