DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

A Promise

Member since 2003 · Posted 25 Jun 2003 · 7 comments

I sit here, debating, whether or not to pick it up I want to... it's so shiny and beautiful and sharp It's beauty makes a promise a promise of relief a promise of pain a promise of control Its like it calls to me telling me I want to, need to even though I've been told to say away from it I know I shouldn't but I want to oh so bad I want to I'll just hold it I tell myself maybe then the urge will go away So I do I pick it up But if anything the urge is stronger Maybe if I just hold it closer against my wrist that'll be enough to make the urge stop Once again, it just gets stronger Maybe if I just pull it against my wrist without pressing down the urge will go away Again, it doesn't, just gets stronger If it's that stong maybe I should just give in, I think as I feel the wonderful pain this beautiful promise makes

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mean 3.50 weighted 4.60 rank 12533 views 148 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

7 comments

[0] <{Baba^Yaga}> 25-Jun-03/7:44 PM Reply

Please do both wrists with vertical cuts. Preferably two for each wrist and six inches long a centimeter appart angling in toward one another centered over the artery. Use a new straight razor to insure the maximum sharpness available for the deepest cut. And take a blood thinner like aspirin an hour before. Carry on.

[10] JoyLuck 25-Jun-03/9:51 PM Reply

after reading your first few lines
i debated on contuing to read
but i went against better judgement and
kept on reading

and wow
i was amazed
i felt the urge
while reading your shit
to cut my own wrists
thansk a lot psycho

[n/a] Elvish Jade › JoyLuck 26-Jun-03/10:04 AM Reply

Yes, I am a psycho. If you did not wish to read the rest, then you should not have.

[5] Brian Tiensvold 25-Jun-03/11:23 PM Reply

eh, it's deep. ... how long did it take you to write that? ..?

[n/a] Elvish Jade › Brian Tiensvold 26-Jun-03/10:01 AM Reply

Thanks...I don't remember exactly but I think about 5 minutes or so. When I sit down and write I usually finish the poem right away and rarely change anything about it.

[6] Mr Pig (again) 26-Jun-03/1:41 PM Reply

Not bad my boy but one cannot help mourning the use of 'beautiful' , you should only use this word as an introduction or crescendo or else overusing it makes it a tad cliched.

Maybe if I just pull it
against my wrist
without pressing down
the urge will go away

The stanza above is your strongest.

Thank you for obliging me with your effort.

My vote: 6

Good day Sir

[n/a] Elvish Jade › Mr Pig (again) 26-Jun-03/5:10 PM Reply

Thank you very much for your vote. I'll try and remember about the 'beautiful' thing...unfortunately sometimes my mind gets stuck on one word. Definitely need to work on that.
(BTW- I'm a she lol)