DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

vacation

by geewhiz1962

Member since 2003 · Posted 6 Jul 2003 · Edited 7 Jul 2003 · 8 comments

Sometimes I wonder, sometimes I try. Ponder what will happen, now till I die. I rise and I go, live like a machine. Day in and day out, what does it mean? If I had the time, if I had the cash. Wouldn't be so down, I could throw a bash. The weekends with junior, nights with my gal. Needing something special, make me go wow. I guess I should be happy, even content. The week has gone by, my money all spent. What did it buy me? Another weeks meals. Stack of frozen dinners, the Doctor's little pills. Why was I put here? What a strange situation. Give me a break, I need a vacation.

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mean 5.25 weighted 5.03 rank 7264 views 136 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

8 comments

[0] DreamerSupreme 6-Jul-03/4:58 PM Reply

looks like someone burped.. 5

[n/a] geewhiz1962 › DreamerSupreme 6-Jul-03/5:05 PM Reply

burp...10

[0] DreamerSupreme 6-Jul-03/5:10 PM Reply

... this isnt worth 5.. here: 0 ;) did i forget the 1?

[n/a] Shardik 6-Jul-03/6:14 PM Reply

You act as if you've been moonlighting as a poet, and are just exhausted... Poor dear.

[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom 6-Jul-03/8:42 PM Reply

Please lie and tell me you put no effort into this(cause I already belive you). Its too short and reads very dry. Read the Queen and the Locksmith by Jeremi B. Handrinos. Same Idea(sorta, I think but its hard to tell with Horus8), much better done.

[5] <{Baba^Yaga}> 7-Jul-03/3:51 PM Reply

I do believe Judy left the room, perhaps she needs you to drive her home?

[8] horus8 7-Jul-03/7:26 PM Reply

This is actually funny, now that I think about it.

[8] SupremeDreamer 7-Jul-03/8:16 PM Reply

the rewrite is alot better than the original. heres an 8. btw, you really need to have a better attitude concerning commentry, because changing titles to erase a low vote is a pathetic response. Plus, giving me a low rating when i respond to it by sticking a zero on your work is childish... doesnt make you look intelligent. dont take this comment to be pompous in nature, but i do admit sadly that it does seem that way. Im just trying to give you some advice not to step on you, but to help you.