poemranker ::Border towns & the runs by horus8

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 56540

Border towns & the runs

by horus8

Member since 2002 · Posted 16 Jul 2003 · Edited 16 Jul 2003 · 17 comments

A border town faceless and hostile as a car bomb With sailors and donkeys for prostitutes that pull their life's work behind them in a suitcase with loud wheels. A drunk bald tattoed spic gets his head bashed in with a Corona bottle While I'm talking to a cute and pudgy beauty that thinks I'm as fruity As parrot soup & chili verde. Everything is for sale Everyone is waiting To take you into their door and give you a taste of your own medicine. One last walk around the cobblestoned block A beautiful street walker flashes me her plump brown tits then pulls up her skirt To top that with a prick. I flick my cigarette and then show her mine's bigger than hers, limp. Later, I go eat at something resembling a Denny's I order using the "English" menu I get the "scrabeled eggs and Bakon" with a smile turned mad grin. When the sun finally arrives I find a crack to climb into, to sleep it off, to wait it out. Having no intention of seeing these filthy in between people returning back to normal. Because, I know we won't ever let them. It's too fucking affordable and less risky.

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mean 6.97 weighted 6.97 rank 117 views 331 View voting details →

32 votes so far. Yours would make 33.32 votes so far

17 comments

[9] <~> 16-Jul-03/7:55 PM Reply
bueno.
[9] Bill Z Bub 16-Jul-03/8:37 PM Reply
excellente.
...
but your use of words such as... the "n word" and others disturbs me greatly. I'm just a repressed politically correct canuck I guess.
:\
[10] SupremeDreamer › Bill Z Bub 16-Jul-03/10:36 PM Reply
PC is the work of pussy whipped virgins..
[n/a] horus8 › Bill Z Bub 17-Jul-03/8:19 AM Reply
What "n" word, "spic"?
[9] Bill Z Bub › horus8 17-Jul-03/9:34 AM Reply
I wasn't talking about this poem in particular.
[n/a] <{Baba^Yaga}> › Bill Z Bub 17-Jul-03/10:23 AM Reply
Oh! you mean Nigger hole? Yeah, well my black friends don't mind, they understand that the nigger this poem is about is anything but black, and besides as a poet... I have the final decision in all of my word choices, and I'm kind of bored with how people enpower these words to do evil when they are only a sequence of letters in a sequence of words and lines and paragraphs used to communicate thoughts and stories until we can eventually telepathicly talk, then all of this nonsense about fag, nigger, kyke and blee blow will be a diminishing flicker from a collapsing sun, anyway.
[n/a] Terence 17-Jul-03/7:07 AM Reply
The fourth stanza is great, but the poem goes all flabby and loses its shape at the end.
[n/a] horus8 › Terence 17-Jul-03/8:22 AM Reply
So what you're saying is more transvestites & less poetry? What shape? Flabby, as in a drapery of cellulite? Oooootay, Terence.
[n/a] Terence › horus8 17-Jul-03/10:05 AM Reply
You must agree that the second half of the penultimate stanza and the whole of the last stanza are a waste of space reminiscent more of a holiday diary than a poem. These lines are narrative "chit chat". I hope I'm not being unduly negative. I should stress that I love the first part of the poem. Please try to accept a bit of constructive criticism for once.
[n/a] <{Baba^Yaga}> › Terence 17-Jul-03/10:17 AM Reply
No, not at all, I do like to write thick and come back in a month for a trim down, so you're right. I just wanted to make sure you knew what in the hell you were talking about first, and you do, how's that? Fair enough? See, I'm not a bad guy (though my poetry has been shelled off of the best list) I just don't enjoy being ranked by morons, but I agree, I thought it started to dilly dally, I had wanted to end it after the fourth stanza anyway, that's what felt natural at the time. It's just that there was so much I wanted to say about what I witnessed, you know?
[8] Rodavlas 17-Jul-03/9:03 AM Reply
good-8
[n/a] <{Baba^Yaga}> › Rodavlas 17-Jul-03/10:24 AM Reply
gracias
[8] richa 17-Jul-03/10:28 AM Reply
like hostile as a car bomb and the use of line breaks (prostitutes that pull/)

fourth verse is like an eminem lyric, funny
[10] DurtKL 17-Jul-03/6:25 PM Reply
this is great stuff man
[n/a] forsaken 18-Jul-03/6:57 AM Reply
This is great, plus it sounds like back home in Arizona. Living in the poor part with all the Mexicans, I've seen a lot of bald spics with tattos.(10)
[n/a] horus8 › forsaken 22-Jul-03/9:44 PM Reply
Yeah, me too, they need to be extinguished.
[0] klosterfobik 10-Sep-04/10:53 PM Reply
Boring