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Sonnet for a Suicide (Sonnet) by <~> My son is safe, at home today.
I called and checked, to be certain.
Before I dialed 911,
I had to know he was okay--
Call it a mother's bargain--
Before I could take action.
I'd come across a gruesome scene
Another woman's son, I found:
A young man's corpse, just off the path,
His body, swollen, black and green,
Around his neck, a rope was wound,
I discovered the aftermath.
I was the one who broke the news.
But, why do they always lose their shoes?
Up the ladder:
Something for Lynn
Down the ladder:
The Devil and I
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.266667
Posted: July 29, 2003 11:56 AM PDT; Last modified: July 29, 2003 12:05 PM PDTWeighted score: 6.9964733 Overall Rank: 94 Comments:
You can write anything. I say we send our resumes to Madison Ave.
I like how you showed the various emotions of a mother at a scene like this, her first reactions, to check on her own son and then worry about his shoes, both serious and trivial, were perfect.
no, no. the dead guy's shoes were off his feet.
like being slapped by a velour glove.
Did you tamper with the rhyme scheme? I know of two types of sonnetts and this doesn't fit either.
i used: abcabc defdef gg. i'll call it a zzinnian sonnet. i always seem to write them in that pattern, and, not it's not english or italian.
busted. cool custom job though. did you see this? or hear it in the news.
one of my friends, the mother of the chocolate kid, found the body. i tried to write it from her POV.
it's not supposed to be this way.
The ending goes off on a insiduous tangent but because of that it works well and contrasts the 2 moods well. I just hope this is fiction. Why also did he lose his mind I wonder.
Neatly done
yikes
This poem was so good it made me lose my pants. Where are they? Oh, there they are, around my ankles. Silly me. 10/10.
it's not that i _mind_ people touching themselves when theyr ead my poems...it's just that this is not the first one that comes to mind when i think of my more provocative efforts...
you are a strange laddie, sir. 331 view(s)
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Last line is yummilicious!