poemranker ::Sonnet for a Suicide by <~>

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Sonnet № 58023

Sonnet for a Suicide

by <~>

Member since 2002 · Posted 29 Jul 2003 · Edited 29 Jul 2003 · 17 comments

My son is safe, at home today. I called and checked, to be certain. Before I dialed 911, I had to know he was okay-- Call it a mother's bargain-- Before I could take action. I'd come across a gruesome scene Another woman's son, I found: A young man's corpse, just off the path, His body, swollen, black and green, Around his neck, a rope was wound, I discovered the aftermath. I was the one who broke the news. But, why do they always lose their shoes?

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 7.27 weighted 7.00 rank 88 views 331 View voting details →

15 votes so far. Yours would make 16.15 votes so far

17 comments

[9] Jeremi B. Handrinos 29-Jul-03/12:07 PM Reply
"Call it a mother's bargain--" or intuition?

Last line is yummilicious!
[n/a] <~> › Jeremi B. Handrinos 29-Jul-03/12:09 PM Reply
nathalie, who found him, did not go to the wake. because she could not bear to tell the mother what she had really seen.
[9] Jeremi B. Handrinos › <~> 29-Jul-03/1:19 PM Reply
That's just heart warming. Did she think death was the plaid conclusion to a brilliant golf game?
[n/a] <~> › Jeremi B. Handrinos 29-Jul-03/1:22 PM Reply
well, the maggots had eaten through the plaid, you see.
[8] god'swife 29-Jul-03/2:28 PM Reply
You can write anything. I say we send our resumes to Madison Ave.
[9] http://mulberryfairy 29-Jul-03/7:31 PM Reply
I like how you showed the various emotions of a mother at a scene like this, her first reactions, to check on her own son and then worry about his shoes, both serious and trivial, were perfect.
[n/a] <~> › http://mulberryfairy 29-Jul-03/8:04 PM Reply
no, no. the dead guy's shoes were off his feet.
[9] Bill Z Bub 29-Jul-03/7:59 PM Reply
like being slapped by a velour glove.
[9] INTRANSIT 30-Jul-03/6:08 AM Reply
Did you tamper with the rhyme scheme? I know of two types of sonnetts and this doesn't fit either.
[n/a] <~> › INTRANSIT 30-Jul-03/6:11 AM Reply
i used: abcabc defdef gg. i'll call it a zzinnian sonnet. i always seem to write them in that pattern, and, not it's not english or italian.
[9] INTRANSIT › <~> 30-Jul-03/6:26 AM Reply
busted. cool custom job though. did you see this? or hear it in the news.
[n/a] <~> › INTRANSIT 30-Jul-03/7:17 AM Reply
one of my friends, the mother of the chocolate kid, found the body. i tried to write it from her POV.
[9] INTRANSIT › <~> 30-Jul-03/7:52 AM Reply
it's not supposed to be this way.
[8] Caducus 5-Aug-03/5:23 AM Reply
The ending goes off on a insiduous tangent but because of that it works well and contrasts the 2 moods well. I just hope this is fiction. Why also did he lose his mind I wonder.
Neatly done
[8] deleted user 28-Aug-03/8:54 AM Reply
yikes
[10] William Delacroix 2-Sep-03/8:58 AM Reply
This poem was so good it made me lose my pants. Where are they? Oh, there they are, around my ankles. Silly me. 10/10.
[n/a] <~> › William Delacroix 2-Sep-03/9:10 AM Reply
it's not that i _mind_ people touching themselves when theyr ead my poems...it's just that this is not the first one that comes to mind when i think of my more provocative efforts...

you are a strange laddie, sir.