Puerto Rican Tequila

Member since 2003 · Posted 5 Aug 2003 · 3 comments

silent screams escape wrinkled parched lips curled in a grimace of pain liquid drips from the tequila bottle to numb the mental process i now posses the cure fuel to lure the flame of joy, yet now i cry still, unable to get my fill smoke clouds my vision i don't wish to see again that static TV roaring advertisements from greedy whores that drool for my recycled green paper the methamphetamine vapor curls from the glass pipe into the highway of blood vessels one way road to the CPU rewire and amp the programming the radio sings my techno hell opera attempting to grasp the cosmic vanity of humanity broken tiles, my incomplete puzzle I'm left a rotten corpse my skulls gray flesh sizzles its the cannibals barbecue

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mean 4.50 weighted 4.94 rank 9042 views 233 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

3 comments

[6] Bachus 6-Aug-03/2:03 AM Reply

The last stanza fails to surmise the gist of your message. Perhaps, close with another observation on the drink that you're writing about.

[n/a] DreamerSupreme › Bachus 6-Aug-03/10:02 AM Reply

your right... i just might seriously consider trying that suggestion.. ill see what i come up with.

[7] http://mulberryfairy 6-Aug-03/7:07 PM Reply

I grimace in pain at the taste of tequila too. I think this gets good at "i don't wish to see again", but the preceding lines need some rethinking, though they have their good parts. Also, need apostrophes "skull's gray flesh" and "cannibals' barbecue"