poemranker ::Dialogism by Nicholas Jones

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Sonnet № 60194

Dialogism

by Nicholas Jones

Member since 2002 · Posted 11 Aug 2003 · 5 comments

People endure, explain ourselves through pain - strong structures mean that we can thus construct a niche just for one mind. You walked in rain to prove you would, when I myself was tucked in a bed of warmth with softness over me and cocoa by my side. For I am cursed by my own failings - mediocrity is me, while you are always well immersed in all you are. But I have no deeper mind, no crises or delight, while you amaze me with your long conflict toward such finds. All this I do admire, but my mind says: As to such as you belongs the modern world Profundity eludes me, but is my goal.

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5 comments

[10] horus8 11-Aug-03/11:46 AM Reply
Probably one of the best Sonnets on Poemranker, and, as always, very intelligent and observant.
[n/a] Nicholas Jones › horus8 14-Aug-03/3:39 AM Reply
You're too kind, Mr.8.
[8] ecargo 11-Aug-03/3:13 PM Reply
Good sonnet--love how the rhymes are not obvious because you didn't make the mistake of end-stopping each line. You seem to gain an extra beat in lines 5 and 9 (9 is easily fixed if you make it deep instead of deeper). How come you didn't rhyme the couplet?

Re: Arkansas, I was only there once, backpacking--it's a beautiful state (they call it the Natural State), so if you like hiking, there are some great trails (both for dayhiking and extended treks). Other than that, I'm not sure. I think you'll find that Southerners are generally pretty friendly--that's been my experience, at least.
[n/a] Nicholas Jones › ecargo 14-Aug-03/3:39 AM Reply
Thnak you for your very nice comments. I'm glad you like it, and I agree the key to a good sonnet is for the sentences to flow over the lines. As for the extra beats, yes, guilty as charged. I'm not certain it matters all that much, I'm not a stickler for the rules. And the couplet sort of rhymes, in a very vague way. I'd rather have a half-rhyme at the end than a full rhyme that feels forced.
[10] Bachus 14-Aug-03/9:26 PM Reply
Zuper.