Muddy Streams

They lied I tell you as I think my lightweight thoughts. They scud across my brain like so much cirrus in the sky of my mind. Does it rain here? Yes, on the dark days. But when they will come I do not know. I never know. And really I am someone else when they come. I dig in the mud my mind racing. Trying to find my roots somehow. Deep it goes here. Unknown I have to dig. But here sunlight, daytime comes again and I bury my thoughts in the pit of discovery I have just begun to dig. Afraid, so afraid of life. So desperate, trying to own it all. Greedy I thought not, selfish I deny. But it is all-true, there are no thoughts other than these in my mind. The great jaws open and all will fall in to my whole soul I profess the love I have for you I do not l know where I shall be next. I hurt with these thoughts, the words trip from my tongue, my fingers too rapid for the keys to follow. Keys making music of the words that tumble from me whole. I never knew these words, stored tight, packaged up like so much flatpack furniture in foam. I know them now as I read, as I follow them with my eyes. The eyes that burn inside me stronger as I see. What do you think of this all, my loath companion, my jester soul. My twin, in shadow, stunted forever. I carry you, not whole through my life.