Fury

Member since 2003 · Posted 8 Sep 2003 · 5 comments

I continue to express This weight on my chest As itâs lightened And lifted And starts to regress Press A finger ever slightly You donât wanna fight me Waitin to ignite me The flame inside Is burning my mind I am lost in you Torn and tossed by you Standing beside you I feel the sting of danger Ingested Digested Contorted by your anger But I smile Wait a while Give it time The perfect crime Against the man Who did me wrong And now Iâm older Bolder and strong And youâre running away Hiding each day Casting long shadows In darkness And light Standing face to face Itâs time that we fight Brother and brother Man against man Fear in your Eyes Calm fury and Me

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mean 5.56 weighted 5.28 rank 3786 views 308 View voting details →

9 votes so far. Yours would make 10.9 votes so far

5 comments

[n/a] Joe-joe 8-Sep-03/12:50 PM Reply

Hey JB,

A little choppy and disjointed but it does have some nice lines. -6- Joe-joe

[6] Mr Pig › Joe-joe 8-Sep-03/1:22 PM Reply

Joe-joe has a valid point, it seems to lack substance but has the odd good line 6

[6] Mr Pig 8-Sep-03/1:28 PM Reply

We slipped in to sadness is a useful line which could be better used. For example you write it like you wore sadness (like your heart on your sleeve) all you need is a line like the 1st one but with a follow up line which really hits home.

[n/a] J.B. Manning › Mr Pig 9-Sep-03/10:32 AM Reply

We slipped into sadness? Is that a reference to my poem? I don't get the connection. That isn't a verse from this poem.

[4] Quarton 5-Jul-04/2:47 PM Reply

Kind of like a bad soap opera. Sorry.