poemranker ::Love (pyramus and thisbe) by New Life Drug

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Free verse № 74228

Love (pyramus and thisbe)

Member since 2002 · Posted 8 Nov 2003 · 3 comments

I remember the dawn of words and loving ears We must not part at dusk for it kept you waiting here The more the flame is covered up the hotter it burns and so we slipped away But it lead to our one urn And now deep red berries that were once snow white grow between our ashes As we escape into the night I too can be brave I too can love Let me take this knife covered in your blood Drive it into the heart of mine death closes your eyes But it will not part us from where you lay

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mean 6.17 weighted 5.31 rank 3570 views 269 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

3 comments

[6] SupremeDreamer 8-Nov-03/11:11 PM Reply
Blessed with 6.
[8] Jeremi B. Handrinos 9-Nov-03/12:23 AM Reply
"covered in your blood" this should be "And blood covered gloves."?

"Drive it into the heart of mine
death closes your eyes
But it will not part us
from where you lay":

This should be:

Drive into the heart of mine
Let death close your eyes
But it will not part us
from where we shall rise.



[7] richa 9-Nov-03/11:22 AM Reply
Reads well, but the theme is a little ubiquitous.