DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Inane Muttering

Member since 2003 · Posted 12 Nov 2003 · 6 comments

Your hushed whispers said nothing- it was just your voice and blither that was somehow calming. In those twilight moments, they were a welcomed occurrence- since I wasn't listening. Brushed away my worries unwound the anxiety- letting me drift to whatever dream was forming in my mind then. Thats how you always convinced me everything was fine- and now, without it I'm left submerged, flailing. The worst of it?- waiting. Which ultimately?- changes nothing. But your whispers?- made me press on. Simplicity accomplished alot; things aren't so simple now.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 7.33 weighted 5.63 rank 2185 views 217 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

6 comments

[10] Lifeboatman 12-Nov-03/10:19 PM Reply

[10] Shardik 13-Nov-03/8:38 PM Reply

Probably your best.

[n/a] SupremeDreamer › Shardik 14-Nov-03/3:03 AM Reply

Well, its the first one i wrote that didnt need a second draft afterwards.

course, some months later ill look at it again and will probably
spot something that bothers me..

[9] Shuushin 15-Nov-03/12:35 AM Reply

"occurrence" as it is used is a missed opportunity, methinks. Why were they welcome? (sarcasm aside)

Other than that, pretty frickin' solid.

-9-

[6] Tintagiles 28-Oct-04/8:10 PM Reply

For some reason, I actually like everything but the last line of each stanza (except for the first, which doesn't quite count.)

[n/a] Don-Quixote › Tintagiles 11-Dec-04/5:23 AM Reply

Would you be kind enough to say why you didn't like the last lines of the last five stanzas? Just so I'm made aware of it's flaws.

Thank you for reading and commenting on my piece, I've always had a fondness for your work, and it's an honor to receive your feed-back.