poemranker ::The daisy-chain girl by richa

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Free verse № 89086

The daisy-chain girl

by richa

Member since 2002 · Posted 17 Feb 2004 · Edited 10 Jun 2004 · 15 comments

The length of a daisy chain is no measure, we are not in ancient rome, one must do like us to live in the orchard-- 'shake the low branches till apples are dropped and buckets are full and stalks are to be re-hung with new fruit' 'or one's knotted daisies'.

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15 comments

[10] zodiac 17-Feb-04/8:40 AM Reply
I don't get the "we are not in ancient Rome" line. And it needs punctuation from the previous line. And I just don't get it. You could add another line after to clear that up a little. Until then -9-
[n/a] richa › zodiac 17-Feb-04/8:59 AM Reply
What I was trying for with 'we are not in ancient rome' was the ingenuity of their measurement system. The mile being a thousand paces, using wheel revolutions to measure length etc.

Measure being a play on measure of someones worth
[n/a] Christof 17-Feb-04/8:59 AM Reply
Very pretty. I don't get the ancient Rome bit either - is this an erudite allusion? If so, please enlighten us, I'm intrigued!
[n/a] richa › Christof 17-Feb-04/9:37 AM Reply
Yes, the ancient rome bit was in reference to the resourcefulness of their measurement system.

A metaphor for how everything has a value (spriritual vs mathematic) in itself as knowledge.
[n/a] richa 17-Feb-04/1:41 PM Reply
Put an extra verse as the poem did not state the girl was making daisy chains on the grass, still.

'we are not in ancient rome' 'with chains and feet'? (two roman measures).
[n/a] deleted user 17-Feb-04/3:25 PM Reply
Buttery, lovely and locked up. Not unlike my buns!
[8] Shuushin 17-Feb-04/7:56 PM Reply
You make me work so hard with your poetry.

I understand dandelions and litter (putting a flowerpot over them for extended cultivation).

and I can *almost* see your connections with the measure, the clock, the stepping; these incremental units.

They are, supposedly, linked somehow. You say "spriritual vs mathematic" - have you been reading Spinoza before bedtime again??? Maybe some Tipler?
[8] Shuushin 17-Feb-04/7:58 PM Reply
For making me work -10-
[10] INTRANSIT 10-Jun-04/5:26 AM Reply
I'm way off but, my mind went the filthy route first, but on a second read I thought it was about the practice of poetry. A daisy chain being ones older and of lesser quality poems. Damn. Sorry I missed the first cut too. 10 for your poem 6 for me being an idiot.
[10] thepinkbunnyofdoom 10-Jun-04/11:13 AM Reply
Wow, vague with a great sense of inner wisdom being displayed, but I still feel as though I missed it. I love the slothful line 'shake the low branches
[n/a] god'swife 10-Jun-04/12:23 PM Reply
I'm comfuzzled. The 'us' isn't clear, who are 'us'? You're structure is only the best. If I take each line individually they're lovely but what does it all mean?
[n/a] richa › god'swife 11-Jun-04/12:00 PM Reply
The us are the other people in the orchard who are shaking the apples. The daisy chain girl is hearing their voices.

The first quote is the voice of tradition/ scripture.
The second quote (final line)is the other people in the orchard arguing from the tradition/ scripture of the first quote.
[8] Shuushin 10-Jun-04/6:00 PM Reply
"do like [we do]"

the verb "to be" is a bit overdone here, R.
[8] New Life Drug 10-Jun-04/11:16 PM Reply
there used to be apricot trees and a kickass orchard by my house and i'd go and pick them and cherry plums every summer...now its all gone..all thats left is an ugly dried up field.
[8] david 11-Jun-04/10:54 AM Reply
Lyrically, I have no problem. The language is tightly-wound and it sounds good. The issue I take, though, is more typographical in nature. The enjambment of the lines and that punctuation aren't doing anything for me, and I find it a little distracting to the point where it's detracting from my enjoyment of the piece.