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Free verse № 95208

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Member since 2004 · Posted 26 Mar 2004 · 4 comments

do you feel it? shh, whisper softly don't scare it away a soft, a hush, a not quite there but yet so present, full, complete do you hear it? silently making its way passing through, passing by reaching out to you do you sense it? it's almost there, it wants you wants you to know it's there yet hiding, it's scared quiet now, don't frighten it away it seems so peaceful it just wants to play, just a little do you see it? it's holding out its hand quick, before it fades away, grasp it hold onto it and share it so quiet, so soothing oh, it's leaving where's it going? wait, wait, it's rushing quickly, follow, let's follow i think it wants to show you yes, it's leading us there hold on, you don't want to fall past there...there it is... oh.... it's so beautiful....

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mean 7.00 weighted 5.54 rank 2566 views 164 View voting details →

7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

4 comments

[7] zodiac 27-Mar-04/9:54 AM Reply
"While sex is a wonderful, God-given gift, it can be abused like a drug to medicate pain from past rejection, abuse and other wounds. Today, many people find themselves locked in addictive cycles with pornography, masturbation, illicit sex, online affairs, fetishes, phone sex or other sexual activities. If you think you are addicted or know someone who is, this site may be helpful to you."
[7] Shuushin › zodiac 27-Mar-04/11:20 AM Reply
and the poem, how do you feel aboot the poem? Or do you just like talking to hear yerself talk, eh laddy?
[7] zodiac › Shuushin 27-Mar-04/8:17 PM Reply
No, I like hearing Christians talk about porn addiction. The poem is cute, delicate, the ending is actually rather nice. But I'd never recommend using ellipses in a poem. I'd do it with line breaks and dashes if it was me.
[7] Shuushin 27-Mar-04/11:22 AM Reply
I think this is a bit longer than it needs to be to express the sentiment.

Which, I have to admit, is a bit difficult to ascertain.

Gonna need some punch - best done in a smaller space.