poemranker ::Three Bears by hotwire

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Lyric № 96531

Three Bears

by hotwire

Member since 2003 · Posted 8 Apr 2004 · 4 comments

Bily Foster This is a story of three bears goldie locks i could be three bears that helped me reshape me the way i want to be one bear was my baby kept him close to me the second builds my body keeps me from scorning me the third releases my desires and really sets me free three bears in my world aren't harmfull at all you see three bears in my fairy world means meaty men to me i'll never forget those bears hold them dear will thee happy ever after with my three bears will i be one bear i see daily sleep with actually the second i see weekly work me over does he the third i see often or when i'm feelin week Three bears in my world aren't harmfull at all you see three bears in my fairy world means meaty men to me I'll never forget those bears hold them dear will thee happy ever after with my three bears will i be

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mean 6.33 weighted 5.36 rank 3320 views 123 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

4 comments

[8] Shuushin 9-Apr-04/8:04 AM Reply
different. points for that.

I really don't mind the lowercase "i" as a tool themselves, but the capital usage with "I'll" kinda wrecks it.
[7] deleted user 9-Apr-04/11:14 AM Reply
Yes, it's different and cute too. Check some grammar though:
"hold them dear will thee" ??
"or when i'm feelin week" should be weak.
[8] wilco 9-Apr-04/10:03 PM Reply
YEs, it is different but the grammatical errors to make it a little hard to read in places.
[8] thepinkbunnyofdoom 10-Apr-04/1:55 AM Reply
Good the of the Idea of comparing Teddy Bears, something comforting, to Men, without a doubt a odd territory. The execution is overly simplifed and a bit flailing to hold its self together but works out fairly well at the end. -8-