She Searches For Love

Sure, give it a shot. (you don't have to count, but you get the idea)

Make it so you have to pick and choose the "right" word, the most appropriate image. You should find yourself questioning yourself when you write down little words like a preposition, or an article.(btw, that was just an example - did I need the word "down"?)

Who said anything about hating? Please pay attention: I said explicitly that if this poem is about a specific person then of course it's fine because if poetry should be allowed to do anything, that thing should be to faithfully depict real-life circumstances in an interesting or original fashion. Yes, I do believe that. However, if I attempted any kind of generalization out of these two poems, it would be that women in general are rather weak and flighty and men are strong and patronizing. This is something you should be aware of people doing when reading your poems, and possibly correct with something as simple as naming the woman in this poem "Sarah" or something, so that at worst we can only generalize that women named Sarah are weak and flighty, or at least have a better idea that you're speaking of a specific person you know and not commenting on the intelligence of all women. This has NOTHING TO DO with what you meant to say.

And I didn't say anything about you being a rapist or kidnapper. I suggested that if I had a teenaged daughter (which I don't) and you were a teenaged boy who drove a customized van, perhaps with flame decals around the hood, or a custom sound system and vibrating fold-out waterbed and blacklight (which you almost certainly don't), I wouldn't let you take her out for a date. Don't take it personally: I'm a very protective hypothetical father like that.

And as far as 'taking what i am trying to portray in the wrong manner,' are you aware that you are following a 6,000 year-old tradition of men writing in a condescending fashion about women? Probably very few of those men were conscious of how they participated in and perpetuated a system that allowed for the wholesale repression of half the earth's population; they were just writing about girls they knew, just like you are. So what the hell sort of manner am I supposed to take something like this in? Now, I am the kind of person who right or wrong believes writers and other artists are obliged to be aware of that tradition and, by any of several means, avoid continuing it. I have suggested one way to avoid generalizing all women as man-worshipping dolts; there are many others. If you'd like, I can tell you about them.