Freud suggested that I commit murder. (Free verse) by DreamerSupreme
[Jung thought he meant sex unconsciously]
This moment remains fucked
for reasons unknown
to my doctor, who seems qualified
with his clean-white trench coat
"Don't worry you'll be fine"
demeanor which fails
to convince me-- the one who
supposedly trusts this white liar
who makes me wonder:
What is he hiding from me?
Do I have cancer? Does he own stock
that prospers from chemotherapy patients?
Is it aids? If so, he's coming with me
because I refuse to meet my lifes' end
in a slow process of costly medication
while counting how many T-Cells left
until total system failure.
I'd much rather pass it on
and tell him, with a shit-eating grin
"You're It! No tag-backs either shithead,
this moment remains fucked
and thats final-- there is no such thing
as a refund, comprende amigo?"
Ofcourse you could say I suffer
from paranoia, and then
oh-so delicately suggest
that I'm consulting the wrong
sort of health-professional
"Perhaps you were meant
to be a wedding gift to Freud;
or some black unconscious flower
that sprouted from Jungs' mental cellar."
But I already know what will be said
when the shrink says to begin
and the first impulsive thought
that yearns to be shared
"this moment remains fucked"
answered with that cliche
which rightfully stereo-types head doctors
"how does that make you feel?"
and I'm sharing my feelings
so im really screwed"
<continued, in my head, in secret--
so you can't see whats coming.>
"Maybe its best for everyone involved,
better for me anyway, if we end this
with the shake of a shovel and continue
with the mess of your murder
and then the intoxicating sound of silence
which comes after decisively declaring:"
<said outloud in a fatal act of surprise...>
"Now you're fucked
and the last thing you'll ever think
or feel is that
'This moment remains fucked'
and you will be stuck with that last thought
for eternity in death underneath the soil
fertilizing the black flower that grows
in the dampness of my cellar."
[PS: Thank you note for my shrink.]
I think its safe to say
that now I'm cured;
theres no-one else to kill,
and nobody, not one soul
knows whats going on
in this crazy brain of mine
Thank you for "getting fucked"-
you give a new meaning to the term
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