Shuushin22 May 2004

Yep, thats a good one; good use of the form.

Consider replacing "Walking", it's implied and the space could be better used to express the mood.

the wine/mine rhyme, btw is a good coupling and the long "i" sounds work well.

when you say "contemplating a swift descent" are you implying she will go down [on you] quickly (or vice versa), or are you saying something will be leaving soon and quickly?