god'swife10 Jun 2004

1. You never tell us who he is, in relationship to you or the world. 0

2. What is the ambrosia, the fear, the roses? 0

3. Designate what? 0

4. Drifting where? 0

5. Retrospect? So far there's nothing to look at backwards or forwards. 0

6. His agility was found by what act? 0

etc. etc. etc...

Everything in this poem is completely vague, how can the audience relate to or feel the emotion of something without emotion. Can you tell me what the emotion is in this poem? No, I didn't think so. I don't have time to keep repeating myself over and over again when I read a poem that's completely in trouble. Take a class, pay someone to help you, or read books on writing poetry. Nothing in your work is clear or dramatic. You show terrible taste in your choice of words. Personally, I honestly don't think you'll ever be any good at writing poetry. Poets are born not made. You can improve, but only so far. You're poetically tone deaf.

there are you happy now?