Sasha1 Nov 2004

the ! is unnecessary. Sonnets don't need iambic pentameter, but generally (unless they are blank verse sonnets which yours is plainly not) each line needs to rhyme with at least one other somewhere else in the sonnet....blah blah blah. Okay you don't want to hear the formalist shit.

How about the poem has NO meter whatsoever and desparately cries for one.

Also the subject is a bit cliché