edpeterson6 Nov 2004

I always love birds in poetry. The madness they suggest, the wings, the beaks, the smears they leave on your pole.

bullshit aside, I really loved the last stanza, brake the stare is a bit cutesy, but doesn't really detract, for me anyway...and i think grinding line could be clearer or simpler or something but am without suggestions.

i don't like atop in the first. why not just on.

in the second, probes my poll....probes is a suggests something more intrusive than what is actuall going on, though that is not really a problem if that is what you mean...the bird is intruding, perhaps? Keep your pole to yourself.

the third is nice with the repetition, but "friend" seems... i don't know. if it were my poem, i would let the reader decide for him or herself whether the bird was friend, foe or other.