Dovina13 Nov 2004
I knew when I posted this poem that the imagery was far-fetched, and therefore easy to misinterpret and easy to attack. I have already admitted this, and therefore your attack is somewhat justified. Rather than casting off your diatribe off as easy slander, which would be my first reaction, I have done your exercise. The representation of each line in the poem is in parentheses.
Snow on the ground
(Snow is a covering, a shroud â his jokes or my missives)
shallow and dirty
(contaminated, showing traces of the thing covered â pain)
Up in the trees
itâs crusty and clean
(uncontaminated snow on limbs â effective jokes or missives)
Black limbs sagging
(limbs and anything dark = pain)
frosty and white
(pain covered and unseen)
Tan earth hidden
(earth = pain)
âneath snow and dust
(only partially hidden)
Such are the jokes
(jokes = snow)
that cover his wounds
and the missives
(missives = snow)
surrounding mine
Which are more lofty
(his jokes or my missives?)
covering whiter?
Which bear the dust
(his jokes or my missives?)
Of weaker defense?
(weaker = contaminated with dust)