nentwined9 Mar 2005

"O I can see so many things / YOU may not see at all"
"Perhaps He meant for me to see / What other people miss!"

is the only direct repetition, but I suppose more what I wanted to say was something along the lines of--

You use an awful lot of words to say not so much. I understand that happens often when going for a cute tone, and I'm just as guilty of it sometimes, but it really doesn't work for me, here.

Like watching a child skip along the road, where they trip over their shoelaces every other step.

It might help if you hypothesized a few things that other people miss--not to the extent of a laundry list, but something more than "I know something you don't know! I know something you don't know!"

Perhaps.