DoubleU11 Jun 2005
>>Oh and when you kiss my lips,
my heart skips beats and does flips.<<
'Oh' as in 'oh, by the way'?
Delete 'and'
The second line reads bad. Delete 'does'.
The horrible thing is that this physical phenomenon is exactly what occurs, when you're in luvv. Except when you're over 21, you'll think you're heading for a coronary.
The more horrible thing is that this has been written a zillion times over, mostly by lovesick 14 year old girls...I don't blame you your age and state of luvv but it's so boring, this way.
>>As long as my arms are RAPPED around you,
Iâll never be sad or blue.<<
Your poor sweetheart must be; black&blue...