zodiac15 Dec 2005

Soil has swords? Where? Make it something else bejewelled. Or make a better metaphor for frost than jewels.

corvids - no apostrophe. platoons - no apostrophe. Hopefully you're starting to get the problem.

Sun has risen, not rose. Not even in joke.

winter's - with an apostrophe, because it's possessive.

Verse 3 is great. The only part of this even close to what I'd call "the style of I like." Verse 4's good too.