Free verse № 135290
The Cowardice of Francis Evans
I watched the frost cry for sunrise
Jewelling the swords of soil
dawn gave birth to death
and a choir of corvid's rejoiced
on steel giants by granite platoon's.
Dawn dances in its white gown
On empty graves dressed in nettles
The wind has come to moan
The sun has rose to fall
And like the crown of winters queen
All that lives
is all that's green.
My great uncle sleeps here
Shot for cowardice in 1917
He held his friends cranium
Then held his friend
Took his wedding ring for safekeeping
And hitched a ride to Esbjerg.
He left Esbjerg a soldier of the King
Arrived in Harwich a traitor
He lived to complete his vow
And arrived at Ethel's a man.
"William told me to tell you Goodbye"
and gave her a pressed thistle,
Ethel remarried and had twelve grandchildren
My Uncle was captured on his 20th year
Tied to a plinth with a blindfold
Singing "Abide with me"
Before he was shot by six children.
Every epitaph tells a story
And my Uncle so loved the dawn
His name was Francis Evans
The fiancé of Margaret
The Father of her miscarriage
And coward revoked 80 years later
by a fat mayor in Warwick.
16 comments
In winter, all that lives is not necessarily green.
"The sun has risen to fall"
When it changes from description to story in S3, it feel like the start of a new poem.
corvids - no apostrophe. platoons - no apostrophe. Hopefully you're starting to get the problem.
Sun has risen, not rose. Not even in joke.
winter's - with an apostrophe, because it's possessive.
Verse 3 is great. The only part of this even close to what I'd call "the style of I like." Verse 4's good too.
So long as it hits its a breather.
ZODIAC: You just accused me of having fits. And of learning a word from a Californian.
DOVINA: That's so different! What I'm saying is true, while what you're saying is untrue.
On empty graves dressed in nettles
The wind has come to moan
The sun has (risen) to fall
And like the crown of winter's queen
All that lives
is all that's green.
(This is awesome, but to me the rest does not have the same high quality of flavor...this was rich, the rest was flat, comparitively.) 9 on this part alone, minus the spelling errors.
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