Some good comments on the meter and commas. Thanks, I'll work on it.
I considered changing "inherit the earth" but I couldn't resist leaving it in because it implies the death or retirement of a parent or of God. It also reinforces that the grown children are taking God's knowledge with them. Had I used a more obscure biblical reference the effect would have been lost.
It's quite hard to say something either pro or anti-god and not come out sounding a little preachy which is why I'm glad it doesn't bother you.
The teller of the poem is percieved an older wise person simply by the way the listeners are addressed in the poem.
So fresh language would come across as some young buck trying to tell you how it is.(Word up, yo)
"Compelling" would really come across as preachy.("The power of Christ compells you")
For my take on Lewis Carroll see:
http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=135039