richa14 Feb 2006

'Of what fabric are wishes made?' is a punchy line to start with but you make no attempt to elucidate.
It can't be ascertained why you sneer so much.
To start a thing is vague and quite clunky.
The middle of the poem is unarresting.

Death refrain is an interesting use of language.
Good to say we've come a long way is a decent idea.

I just think the poem needs more meat in the place of the cliches of wilderness, anniveraries pass etc.