Ranger24 Feb 2006

Crikey, where do I begin with this one? I really like this poem, the first and last stanzas shine very brightly for me. 'Caviar dreams' I swear I've seen before, which is a bit of a shame as it detracts slightly from the overall originality of the piece. The same applies to 'bleeding skies'; in my opinion the second stanza could do with a reworking to bring it to the standard of the other two.
The final stanza is fantastic, perhaps 'I love you' should be in quote marks?
'Twin sapphires set in snow/Look like a murder scene'.
8 for now, with a rework of stanza two this will be at least a nine.