ho_hum11 Apr 2006

I can only imagine that in your claim that "To pretend to have had an affair with Shane Warne" refers to tabloid claims by a young lady that she misbehaved with him following day two of the Old Trafford test in the 2005 ashes series. I can assure you that this was no pretence, and while I have no proof that he slept with her, leaving the bar "Saltwater" in central Nottingham with said young lady in tow is circumstantial evidence enough. I know this because I was there, and I saw it with mine own two eyes. Watching the aforementioned Warne depart first ball the next day to a viscous Simon Jones lifter almost made me cry with laughter. 10.

Dear Americans,

I almost began to explain this comment but I'm not even going to try.

xxx.