Stephen Robins5 Jul 2006

The aristocrat format is rubbish. It is essentially:

A man walks into a talent agent's office, and says, "We're a family act, and we'd like you to represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too old-fashioned." The man says, "But, this is really special." The agent says, "Okay, well what's the act?"

He replies," Well my wife and I start fisting eachother. Meanwhile by son brings out our pet pregnant alsatian and induces the birth of her zygots by forcing his hand up her arse.

My son then brings the embryonic alsatians and coaxes them into his Mother's vagina and she sqirms as the embryos wiggle in her clowns sleeve of a snatch. At this point my son pulls down his pants and arcs a rope of cum across my mouth which I gulp down. Once he's finished I bite off his cock and spit it up his arse.

As a grand finale I take out grandma's glass eye and my son shits out his cock into her skull. She catches septicimia and we root her lifeless corpse with the dead alsatians head. All this time my wife is reading aloud the painfully self-obsessed poetry of Dovina whilst slicing the skin off my buttocks."

The agent just sits in silence for a long time. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call yourselves?"

"The Aristocrats!" The man replies.