zodiac26 Jan 2004

As far as line 6, just a comma from the previous line or into the following line would suffice. In a pinch it'll work as is.

In line 8 (if you want to follow Goad's track, which is pretty good) you might consider changing 'many', which is not poetic in the sense you're aiming for. If you do, don't think of synonyms for many, think of something on the fringe of synonymity (which is not, as far as I know, a real word.)

I'm not as worried about the Dixie battle hymns as Goad is. But he's got a good ear.