Fraser Allonby Q.C.21 Apr 2004

"I have no experience with Alan Partridge ..."

In which case, sir, prepare to gain some valuable experience:

"Alan: It’s very Cluedo this house, isn’t it? Colonel Mustard in the en-suite bathroom with the lead pipe. Battered."

See http://www.gazmac.freeserve.co.uk/aha1.htm