<~>28 Apr 2004

nice, dry feeling to this, h.

watch the periods. they break it up too much, maybe. give me a reason your face has been turned away by these things, as the rest of you is a part of the schema.

maybe not 'death without song' but more so death with an unvoiced sound?

lose the ... on the second to last line. it cheapens the poem. the rest, in my opinion, is nicely done.