Re: johnny dowd by the codeine kid	the codeine kid 217.159.74.253	27-May-04/11:07 AM
this is my first poem and i think it is a very good one. i know that is not very modest, but the neither is johnny dowd...or tom waits for that matter. now i know i'm no tom waits...but i aam the codeine kid!
Re: Child of Troy by Caducus	god'swife 209.179.226.146	27-May-04/11:57 AM
It's hard to know who you're talking about at times. The child or the mother? "Her littler girl smiled at me With HER(whose, the little girls or the mother's?)green nose..." You were part of who's 'brief history'? The prepositionals at the end are terribly awkward, and what exactly is 'a rebirth of destiny'
Re: Fighting before bed by zodiac	god'swife 209.179.226.146	27-May-04/12:05 PM
Should it be '...smooth her...'(S5L3)? The more I read this the better it becomes. Especially S'3 & 4. Also "let her be a childlike", seems incorrect.
Re: In Love as in Love by Everyone	Jeremi B. Handrinos 24.130.62.63	27-May-04/12:10 PM
And here I thought your heart was square.
regarding some deleted poem...	fair12 66.84.225.2	27-May-04/12:34 PM
harsh... be sure to add your encouragement and critique to some of the others who have missed your insightfulness..
Re: Child of Troy by Caducus	SupremeDreamer 204.31.171.203	27-May-04/2:06 PM
Yes, this does tickle my fancy. Nice write. Blessed with nine.
Re: Horror Film by Jeremi B. Handrinos	SupremeDreamer 204.31.171.203	27-May-04/2:09 PM
Smashin. Only one thing leaves me wondering: "Ignotum per ignotious" What exactly does that mean? I have no knowledge of latin. Other than that, blessed with ten.
Re: argentina by ThePariahDog	god'swife 209.178.136.96	27-May-04/5:57 PM
Like the country you envoke here, your poem needs work, but it's good. Can't get into it now, I'm at work.
regarding some deleted poem...	SupremeDreamer 204.31.171.203	27-May-04/2:11 PM
It has been a long since you posted, and you have come back with a vengeance. Exellent piece. Blessed with ten.
Re: Get it straight by tre	wilco 24.176.102.131	27-May-04/4:15 PM
That is sort of.....Zappaesque?
Re: argentina by ThePariahDog	god'swife 209.178.136.96	27-May-04/5:59 PM
See http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=71485. for my own view on the subject.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dan garcia-Black 64.161.177.233	27-May-04/7:30 PM
Y ain't there no '11' button on this vote-thang?
regarding some deleted poem...	Dan garcia-Black 64.161.177.233	27-May-04/7:33 PM
You got some long lashes, Brother. This one's good even sober.
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 24.176.102.131	27-May-04/8:05 PM
It takes longer to heal the old wounds each time you open them.
Re: Get it straight by tre	caitydee 152.163.252.165	27-May-04/8:49 PM
I really like this hun :)
regarding some deleted poem...	caitydee 152.163.252.165	27-May-04/8:51 PM
I realy love the idea of cleaning up the past and renewing past pain in the present. Excellent.
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 65.161.41.48	27-May-04/9:42 PM
I have a suggestion and would you please do me the favor of taking it halfway seriously? The suggestion is this: write a poem in which something happens. It doesn't have to be something very big or important, just anything - some action from beginning to end. I'm not asking you to change your whole personal whatever, only to take a crack at it once and see how it feels. Yeah, thanks. -zodiac
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 65.161.41.48	27-May-04/9:56 PM
I have a suggestion and would you please do me the totally undeserved favor of considering it halfway seriously? The suggestion is this: write a poem in which something happens. It doesn't have to be something very big or important, just anything - some action from beginning to end. A story, like. I'm not asking you to change your whole personal whatever it is people think is their whole personal thing here, only to take a crack at it once and see how it feels. Yeah, okay, thanks. -zodiac
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 65.161.41.48	27-May-04/10:00 PM
I have an wacky way-out idea and would you please do me the honor of considering it even a quarter-way seriously, though I'm a complete stranger to you and have done nothing to merit such consideration? The idea is this: write a poem in which something happens. It doesn't have to be something very big or important, just anything - some action from beginning to end. Kind of a narrative, you could say. I'm not asking you to change your whole personal whatever, only to take a crack at it once and see how it feels. What's the worst thing that could happen? You could produce an awful, exactly-identical-to-everyone-else's poem, drawing the stinging ridicule of everybody on this site? Um. Yeah, thanks. -zodiac
Re: I love you by AskittlesK	zodiac 65.161.41.48	27-May-04/10:08 PM
I have a suggestion and would you please do me the favor of taking it halfway seriously? The suggestion is this: write a poem in which something happens. It shouldn't be something very big (i.e., death) or important (ibid.), just anything - some action from beginning to end. I'm not asking you to change your whole whatever, just take a crack at it and see if it feels better than being endlessly mocked for posting these same silly angst poems. What've you got to lose, really? Please, I'm being utterly serious right now, having just watched a very touching movie in which something very moving happened to a lonely man who didn't do - something I can't remember, or maybe didn't catch in the first place, since I was bawling childlike tears from the first scene on. Wait, that didn't come out right. I mean to say that I'm not such a monster as the people on this site would have you believe. I DO believe in constructive criticism, and this is it. If you want to improve your writing, you'll try my idea. Consider it an experiment - like broadening your horizons, or a homework assignment from a kindly science teacher whom you've secretly had a crush on all year. Thanks so much for reading this far. I look forward to seeing what you can do. -zodiac