| Re: Hard on (Lyric) by John K by Bachus |
<Wankster> 24.168.26.48 |
16-Dec-03/2:45 PM |
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| Re: Drive it Down by capachijim |
horus8 24.126.116.54 |
16-Dec-03/9:09 PM |
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| Re: The Thomas Brown Affair by SupremeDreamer |
horus8 24.126.116.54 |
16-Dec-03/9:43 PM |
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| Re: Pose by horus8 |
SupremeDreamer 66.53.160.155 |
16-Dec-03/9:46 PM |
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Now the last line was "pop- fizzle"
Other than that, wonderful. Blessed with eight.
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| Re: In my train-IN by ShaNoN+960317485 |
ShaNoN+960317485 199.40.206.3 |
16-Dec-03/11:45 PM |
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Srry that i cant b here in Poemranker more often - been in a training n still am. Hope 2 read ya guys/gals stuff once i finish this arse grinding.
Cheers friends
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
capachijim 24.168.26.48 |
17-Dec-03/3:11 AM |
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I'll asist you on you're quest ^^
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| Re: Rebel Spirits by miraclemaker |
Everyone 81.128.206.201 |
17-Dec-03/7:18 AM |
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A deeply disturbing piece that caused powerful sensations in my brain and body. Controversial stuff.
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| Re: bonsai by richa |
Everyone 81.128.206.201 |
17-Dec-03/7:23 AM |
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If only the wayward branches of society could be tamed so easily...
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
richa 81.178.213.96 |
17-Dec-03/8:05 AM |
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No no no! You must deserve your infamy
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| Re: In my train-IN by ShaNoN+960317485 |
fair12 66.84.225.2 |
17-Dec-03/8:19 AM |
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All I could picture was Yoda rubbin his bum...
mmmmgghhh - stuck i am young skywalker - bored, bored I am with this trainin - mmmgmgghhhh
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| Re: Death & the Twisted Tree by SupremeDreamer |
Everyone 81.128.206.201 |
17-Dec-03/7:35 AM |
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"a path of emotions and realities"... yes, that describes my own life so beautifully. I also liked the way you used the Tree of Time as a metaphor for the Master of Rhyme. And the way you used Mankind's struggle with Death as a poignant reminder that as human beings, we don't always get the balance between poetry and sheer idiocy right. Thank you.
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| Re: In my train-IN by ShaNoN+960317485 |
richa 81.178.213.96 |
17-Dec-03/8:59 AM |
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cute, could do with being less dense on the page, some stanzas and punctuation maybe.
The rhythm is the best thing
'sit I must'? perhaps: I must/sit yawning, rubbing scuffling my rump.
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| Re: In my train-IN by ShaNoN+960317485 |
Shardik 24.126.116.54 |
17-Dec-03/11:55 AM |
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Guerrilla warfare takes dedication and well to do parents.
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| Re: All the rain has fallen by fair12 |
Shardik 24.126.116.54 |
17-Dec-03/11:56 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Shardik 24.126.116.54 |
17-Dec-03/11:59 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Everyone 81.128.206.201 |
17-Dec-03/12:00 PM |
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Could you please describe what was going through your mind just before you decided to rhyme "blissfulness" with "wistfulness"?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Everyone 81.128.206.201 |
17-Dec-03/12:07 PM |
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So are you telling me that throughout history, all people who have surrendered themselves to a God have thence gone on to perform great deeds? Because if that is what you're trying to say, then you are even more of an idiot than I think you are already just for being a woman. Thanks.
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| Re: All the rain has fallen by fair12 |
Shuushin 147.154.235.52 |
17-Dec-03/12:08 PM |
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winter as a loss of reason - love it.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Shuushin 147.154.235.52 |
17-Dec-03/12:18 PM |
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I like the connotations of "instilling" a belief in god into our children.
I won't castigate you for leaving out the "no God" path which would be a natural extension of lines 2 and 3 (could be accomplished by changing "And", to "Or".
The thing builds rather nicely, though its not as poetic as some of your others.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
sliver 63.190.65.49 |
17-Dec-03/2:18 PM |
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Good emotion, I'll bet they knew how much you liked it.
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