| regarding some deleted poem... |
god'swife 67.73.35.11 |
1-Dec-03/10:34 AM |
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Their fear is greater than their faith.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
some deleted user 147.226.181.104 |
1-Dec-03/10:52 AM |
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Brilliant, by which I mean...not so much...
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
richa 81.178.247.75 |
1-Dec-03/11:35 AM |
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Has a very nice feel, and I like the addressing of the issue violence begetting violence.
Not sure it is entirely appropriate though, you seem to stand back, coldly impinge on this battered wifes pain. Just to write a poem about it.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
richa 81.178.247.75 |
1-Dec-03/11:37 AM |
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Poems about poetry writing I find a bit naff. The stand out here is 'so many long, artistically vacuous lines of prose' because that is exactly what it is. Good show.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
richa 81.178.247.75 |
1-Dec-03/11:51 AM |
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like it, especially verse two, the quick rhythm then image 'sour grapes'.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
richa 81.178.247.75 |
1-Dec-03/11:56 AM |
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I guess this is a play on - infinity is a monkey typing the entire works of shakespeare an infinite number of times.
Nicely written.
Playing with its absurdity.
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| Re: For Brianna by MaliqaTara |
richa 81.178.240.92 |
1-Dec-03/12:00 PM |
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It is oddly strange. The realisation (only about half way through for me) that the other person looking after your baby was god (whichever). Gave this a kind of playful theme out of context.
Good though
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
1-Dec-03/1:09 PM |
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| Re: Leap! by Jill Stockinger |
richa 81.178.255.219 |
1-Dec-03/2:11 PM |
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Reads well, each line a small packaged thought.
I must continue leaping is a fairly weak end though.
Not sure if I would call it concrete either
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
horus8 24.126.116.54 |
1-Dec-03/2:15 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Shuushin 147.154.235.53 |
1-Dec-03/2:17 PM |
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Serious sweetness tastily spaced and punctuated -
such beautiful precision.
-9-
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| Re: Leap! by Jill Stockinger |
horus8 24.126.116.54 |
1-Dec-03/2:19 PM |
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That's a beautiful picture of you leaping, really, pretty... Now here, let me point you towards the window. 7
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Shuushin 147.154.235.53 |
1-Dec-03/2:21 PM |
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a lovely, tight package - much enjoyed.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
horus8 24.126.116.54 |
1-Dec-03/2:26 PM |
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Something was weird about the last line, but then again, I'm cross eyed. Did you watch Carnivale last night?
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| Re: An early apology to the Hiltons by Shardik |
horus8 24.126.116.54 |
1-Dec-03/2:29 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
some deleted user 147.226.181.104 |
1-Dec-03/2:46 PM |
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Like an oil painting with slightly smudged edges...fabulous.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
horus8 24.126.116.54 |
1-Dec-03/2:52 PM |
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Did you hear that? *DOuCHE* there it is again, the sound of a dirty wife cleaning up her dirty mess.
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| Re: Leap! by Jill Stockinger |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
1-Dec-03/2:54 PM |
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You should leap into a good poem.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
horus8 24.126.116.54 |
1-Dec-03/3:18 PM |
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| Re: For the battered chicken I've never met. by horus8 |
horus8 24.126.116.54 |
1-Dec-03/3:20 PM |
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This by far, and away, is Pulitzer material to the bone! I am the ONE! At least my socks think so.
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