oh! *shivers* That was wonderful: very descriptive, and a nice little shock at the end for me. You've a beautiful command of language.

Oh, boy! Aside from tearing me between two emotions(sadness, because it's true, and laughter, because it was carried off so well), this was wonderful, and true.

Your anonymous friends should join this site too, I would enjoy reading their poetry also, all 9-11 of them

U sound 2 metallic..But so what:o)

No Comment ...

Shame you couldn't include 2/4/22 what. I pictured it as a dog kennel for some reason, still I think the point is the same (kind of)

Try something to connect the reader, not a cliche, cliches have long since lost their evocative power. Many people have written poems like this, give or take a few words here and there. Why should we like yours?

last three lines don't add much, but good, an attempt at some kind of thought.

did you come from NFG?

No need for the double line breaks. I like some of the description, perhaps the analysis needs to be a bit deeper than 'the world is going to end, it is all our fault'.

You seem to have what you want to say worked out. How about the use of poetic means to convince the reader.

Again the cryptic. Environmentalism? Or a hefty paycheck?

hmmmn?

Love the content, love the dialogue, but maybe you could portray the dialogue somehow without quotations in order to be more poem-y. love -"sober blue eyes met with mine" "feverish hands" "spinning world" "rust pimpled metal"

Here is my 10 back.

I don't want to be harsh, but you've got a few serious spelling errors, and it's just not good form to use "u" instead of "you". I would suggest that you run this through spell checker, and... redo the formatting. The lines would flow better if you said "Lay your head on the bed, Sleep with the dead" instead of keeping that all one line. Granted, that's just my opinion, but I would consider doing those things and then reposting it.

It really didn't seem that creative to me: the language was uninspired and the rhyming was juvenile.

Opium is not sweet it is a narcotic, it is dreamy yes.

'That every move, gesture, connotation and Inflection is calculated, ingenuine' Interesting, seemed to stick out. So much of what we do is following patterns instinctually. Saying hello etc.

c'est tres bon.