I give you 1 for having the correct number of syllables.

excellent another person in a sorry state of mind. although he got better at the end, he made up for it with the chicken. Not really a poem though, maybe i should post "The Authelage" on here. tis a far greater tale. i give you 10 for the wonderful images conjured during the last paragraph.

Huuwwwoooooh huuwwwwhoooooo Your powers grow weak Yoda poet.

Pepto Bismol!

Seasons in the cave (To the tune of seasons in the sun) We are men we are deep but our skins thin so we seep but we patch up the seams with your moisterizing creams We are men we are boys we like playing with our toys But the drink not the song make the games we play go wrong. We are men we drink beer and your twitter we don't hear yet we go there sometimes in attempts to cross the lines We are men we arnt gay well i'm not anyway Can i borrow you bra and i let you drive the car We are men we give shaft and we do it with great craft but we're looking for signs that your only groaning lines We are men we are brave we are apes who miss our cave and the secrets of men will be buried in our grave

The board assembled of the mind Advertising executives Marketing Public Relations Lawyers Accounting All calmly discussing strategy. Why is the writer huddled silently in his chair Projecting distaste towards Flash Bedazzle's flapping gums? Why doesn’t he just punch Flash in his ungodly white teeth? Is the writer a pussy Or does he just agree with what's being said?

Our Lady of Fiery Rhetoric! Guide us in this time of trouble! Let us sing The Song of Choice Our Lady of Burning Righteousness! Joan of Arc incarnate, Patron Saint of Passion, Light the way with your fury!

Please tell me which of the following names you apply to your father: (a) Father (b) Dad (c) Pops (d) Pater (e) Fuck face (f) All of the above (g) None of the above Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????!?!?!111

Dare should i call it a poem - nay. Its my tribute for all the wonders of this world that i have never seen nor felt in person, but came to love & cherish through the books i hath read in my childhood; as they were my only link to understand the plant & beauty lacking in Maldives. Thank you GOD & friends for allowing me to remember the names so i can write this, MY DREAM & my evolution to love the beauty in the folds of the night.

Poemeranker has been flooded with a deluge of "dad" and "dead dad" poems in recent days. I refer you to the hugely poignant poem "Fathers" by amielou82: http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=73528 Full marks for keeping to this socially important theme! -10-

This poem sounds really good when you persuade a slightly deaf disabled old man, port-sodden like so many of his ancient tribe, to recite it directly into your ear canal using a method of recitation known as "shouting".

I suspect you have me exactly where you want me. Smack between the hen and the dog. Trying to guess how much of what you write is true and how much is fiction. It;s a thin gray foggy line.

great subtle rhyme.

Issues with issues. I hate it when that happens. Take care of yourself,eh?

For your sake, I hope you're not referring to one of the many scams like poetry.com which seek to exploit the gullible and talentless. Your poetry sucks. 10!

don't go, oh subject of this poem - this place needs more people who aren't rude. It has a good premise, and a great execution - we just need a broader audience.

Seriously poetry.com is a scam. This is probably the most gently leaving rant ever

Yes, you can probably measure the intolerance of a people by how pious they are when they are wronged.

Oh man, I hardly ever get to tick the leaving rant box. This is almost certainly the poeme with the highest mediocrity score of all time. Sir, I pull down my trousers and salute you. 30F137A3 http://www.mycgiserver.com/~prawne/code.jsp?action=decode&thecode=30F137A3 [_] AABB rhyming scheme [_] Arbitrary indentation [X] Arbitrary line breaks [X] Clerical errors [_] Ellipses used overabundantly [_] Lower case only [_] Internet shorthand / emoticons [_] Repetition of a word or phrase ad nauseam [X] Devoid of rhyme [X] Devoid of other linguistic embellishments (alliteration, etc) [X] Devoid of other literary devices (metaphor, synaesthesia, etc) [X] Devoid of wondrous or fantastical imagery [_] About drugs [_] About romantic love [_] About suicide or self-mutilation [X] About writing [_] Cliched imagery (tears falling like rain, angel in heaven) [_] Cliched rhymes (love/above, heart/apart) [X] Sounds like dialogue in a fantasy novel [X] Melodramatic [_] Autobiographical but in the third person [X] Concerns the author's social pastimes [X] Leaving rant [X] Vicarious wish fulfilment [X] Pointedly unanswered questions [_] Smugly-named protagonist [X] Sanctimonious [_] Untitled [_] Gushingly religious [_] Obsessed with femininity [X] Rage against the machine [X] Self-obsessed -16- P.S. You are a talentless nobody, and your poetic career will never amount to anything more than self-published anthologies of self-obsessed wide-eyed wondrous drivel that you foist on apathetic relatives. Plus you're a grotesquely ugly freak. Thanks!

El Stupido