The fat belly suits this beauty 9

A lovely white head.

Yeah thats what i call an american breakfast

That was rushed and unprofessional, I know because, I've had dinner twice. with the actor that plays Doctor Giggles. Killing's only fun if one takes their time.

The best I've read of yours and love line 4 -9

And isn't it amazing what 2000 quid will get you - a shot point blank in the face in Coventry where i be.

nice pimple but you lose a point for not mentioning crimson rivers -its essential in a pimple- 9

2nd and 3rd Stzas were a trip and a half - fantastic. Loved line7/9 and all of 3rd - I fell like alice, very polished, full of rich vivid language 9

A little too much Pink Floyd.....

"Slices Lesions" is kinda weak...I think a lesion is a surface abrasion, not a cut, so to speak. Not positive onthat, though.

Love the "sidewalk go dalmation." I like this poem, good imagery (not too pushy). Nice, 7

I think that if you elude an overt profundity of adjectives, you might be able to get your imagery across clearner and more seductively.

I'd like to inform my readers that I am a female. Please don't judge if your own stuff is basically crap. I want a talented writer to review my stuff then I'll take comments into consideration.

Nice wording but it is like telling a story, nothing really poetic about it maybe that was your intention. I have seen better from you so since I know what you are capable of I'll give a 4.

Dreamster, This work captures the essence of a cold and calculating killer. Your use of surgeon as killer brings this point home quite well and I did get a feel for the terror of it all. However, I have seen you bring words together in a more fluid and tastey fashion. Not your best but still good. P.S. I gave serious thought to your last message to me regarding the need to open up and just let it out. You were right. On the way to work this morning while in the midst of a traffic jam (i'm in New York City) I came up with something that I posted earlier this morning. Take a look see and let me know what you think. Joe.

Okay, this one is a bit of a mess. I need to cut it into two separate poems, and rewrite rewrite rewrite. Its all very stream of conciousness, which is good for a start. But it ain't complete.

like a sorcerer's word. drow.

"Poseidon's clams"! For some reason, that made me laugh. Nice try, but this doesn't work for me. Too awkward: "what they hath doth"? Some word choices don't fit this one.

sweet.

You might get over this problem if you went down on every guy you met. That way it would be like, yeah, your dick was in my mouth, but so was that guy off in the distance, and also the guy who gave me the key to the changing rooms at Williams Sonoma. And that other guy I saw at Arby's. Etc. I should rewrite this poem for you to make it funny. 6.