I like it. espetialy the last line of the 4th stanza. good message 10

Fuck me you've come on leaps and bounds Pinkbuns, heres a 9 and congrats on the top 10

God your good

hummm interisting, kinda hard to fallow, but its pretty good. 8

first of all, thanks for the comments. second,i like it.it is, what seems to me, to be quite nostalgic.i duno, i have always had a thing for personal and nostalgic poetry,and this fits in here.very well written. 10

Well, that was a cupped handfull of steaming hot piss.

Funny, and kewl.

hey thats like a discription of how i felt in highschool.... ahh the good old..... well the old days anyway. hehe its good, one of your best, if not the best

That was some jive ass shit mother fucker.

It holds together well but some of the rhymes (ie the bell that gongs) and: People love what people fear,and people love a compliance to violence, tend to over jam the tart a little. The view of the knight as a forgone protagonist of moral virtue works well against the ignorance of todays society your getting at and I think this poem would be generally revered by the majority as a good satire on present times, in a literary audience you fall in to my category, some will love it and some will dissect the shit out of it. Some poems I write for instance are more traditional in the poetic sense, but theres lots of my stuff (mainly death or love poems) which are pretty accessible. What I guess I am saying is I think poems such as these are better to be understood than to be decoded for there meaning. --------7

from here is fine: The megre,insignificant and wretched, ...Our foolish...- are foolhardy puissant individuals, And precarious fob eachother off as, Whose persona is not pellucid, Forget their ignorance-through the leviathan, So is it best,not to be the best, The distinctive,innate and innocuous, But just.....Ordinary But prior to it reads like a different poem altogether, its different in style and is drowned to overkill by rhyme. Easy on the word void, there is rescind which is another defintion of the word. I like the end which i pasted above but it reads more like a collaboration due to the difference in styles. another 7. Your always welcome on my feedback.

Your use of language and ability to illustrate so much with concise lines always makes me envy you. Not that it matters but heres your gold nugget --10

i like the imagery.i like the way that you touch on the awkwardness, i suppose i could compare to the feeling to W.B.Yeats's poem 'Twice Shy'? know it? 9

we all know the feeling.personal,i like personal.i like poems of reality not made up bullshit unrequited(spelling) love and stuff.like i said,i like it. 10 question:i'm new to this place,and a young writer.i've already asked some other people to look at my poems,and i'd appreciate it if you could give me your response to them.

put the title after the poem and it sounds like the dialogue of a schizophrenic, which is worthy in itself. mullberryfairy: 'why would anybody want two games of twister?' 'exactly!' -8-

an old one of mine, I just deleted the last verse and changed a single line for housekeeping purposes

Richa, this is lovely--very Emily Dickinson in its deceptive simplicity. Stalks spear the sun, maybe, to make it more active? Gallows, with the s, is the singular, btw. One of my absolute favorites.

I like it. espetialy the last line of the 4th stanza. good message 10

nice 8

I like it. espetialy the last line of the 4th stanza. good message