some deleted user
on some deleted poem
31 Jul 2003, 6:25 PM
Nice work...I like it...8.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
31 Jul 2003, 6:22 PM
Is this truly a haiku?
Call 774-HELP! The government's provoked another brief delusional disorder! 10
When you deliver your dress line is right about the time I let one fly.
Chivalrous
what a bum crushingly pointless block of text
"rubards?" That's the onliest word I couldn't translate. Nice mix of Bible pronouns and teenage misspellings. I was crying by the time I got to "sweaty pie".
a con-fornication (or a conformation) between father and son?
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! wow, that was stupifying, totally.
Two sexiest things on the planet: Cars and women. YEAH BUDDY! HOOOOO YEAH!!!!!!!!! Okay now, let's bump chests and rut for the ladies! HOOOOOOO YEAH!
Oh yes, what the hell is a kiss with a doves wing? did she chop up dinner and smooch you with the feathery wing before she plucked it? Is that where she belongs? In the kitchen?
How do you become a placid pool? Do you do it oil derick fashion. bump be bump, bump be bump and then leak and form a toxic site. I amybe strecthing here, but I don't get it.
Cidering season starts after fall's first frost. What are the cons to cidering?
I get the connection between # 1 and 2. Nice job. Wouldn't it be until her heart "bursts" open? Burst seems like past tense.
Ahhhhh, The Don Perignon of Pimplery. Majestic mis-spells and Royal Ruminations on the Theme of Lovey-dovey. They should have a special 10 for this perhaps with orange wing-ends and a crown. Can some one in administration manage that?
As under-developed as a 13yr old school-boy. There isn't a poet alive or dead that hasn't suffered from depression, not a single one, it just comes with the territory. so you can't hide behind "well you just don't understand, cause you don't know". Do yourself a favor and write down every damn thing that comes to mind. Don't post it neccessarily, but write it down and go from there. Practice. And don't give yourself blue 10's, it's like watching someone do something humiliating on T.V. I can't stand to look.
Here's my depression poem:
I cannot speak
I cannot dream
I am losing
The feeling, the feeling
The longing, the pain, the certainty
That what is desired is also possible.
That what is desired, is also possible.
Now you tell me
What is there left to be found
in the chambers of a ruined heart?
Old Blood. Old Sound
You see curt + simple doesn't mean boooooring!!! If you want to write creatively than write creatively.
Good Christ, the way you suck is sheer genius, but pray tell, how exactly do you maintain your composure while writing from that deep within your craftless trance of idiocy?
I will tell you this, because, I can't get over this poem is absolutely the most poorly written eye stab with a corked fork I've seen since Steve Martin bought me lettuce last week. My suggestion as the 666th best living poet ah alive, would be to make it a pimple poem and harvest the 10's sweet jesus, because, you will clean fucking house.
What the fuck does "percision" mean? This poeme made me feel malcontent.
wow you must have been in a bonkers mood when u wrote this ur so wacky and zany i can't keep up with u jeepers your cr4zy!!!!10
Doug, you'll have to excuse my friends, they're racists.
sit down. you're gonna pull something.