A little lacking but reads well and the final three lines closes it well

Love & zeros, I mean.

yeah then you'd need an artificial head

This poem reminds me of the last time I ate taco bell.

A loverly poem, indeed, Mr Gayness... excellent execution of rhythm and wit. 10

well put together, nice observations. (Like how scalding on the hot metal sends the kids attention toward the graveyard) But is this supposed to be a scene, or are the last two verses relevant to the kid watching the mourners?

Holy shit this was fucking awesome. Anyone for a game of lawn jarts?

Oh what shock value. I have never read anything half as demented as this in my entire life. Your a creepy guy. Is that what your looking for? Sorry, to disappoint.

a bit odd, the first verse build up is well but it seems to move too fast to the end. still original use of language sets it apart

quite good, plenty of varied language and very lyrical

Magic cocktail hour golden shower champaign gone sour spoiled grapes piss stained drapes Past out apes the life of a drunk your local monk from the bottom bunk

I have nothing but love to give, nothing but love.

in a Bar with glen close (Freed nurse) by gatogordo OBGYN I look out my vagina. i see the Dr., tis' a distant mustache. Aiming at a girl, with a pillow. hung so testicularly. It was soft for him. but now it's hard for me. She is, like a pie, steaming in a window. ready to get fingered!

and the candles have turned (1 note) you tricked me with your secrets you kept me with your chants you held me with your blood (second note) Besides that, you gotta know I dug it. I'll wait to see if you edit to vote.

That's why you're a pro mate. Fantastic work here, just damn fine craftsmanship.

I love seeing people gamble all of their chips on eternity with god in heaven without a plan b... It's just damn brave, damn brave thinking. I especially loved the stories of how heaven was made of precious metals with a lamb for every lap. Yes, Jesus is good to us. I hope he has a castle on the clouds and everyone just eats all day and never gets fat ot old and all ancestors back to Abraham and Adam are there to share JOY! Yeah, heaven, wow, I just can't fucking wait *bang* (Another teenage suicide brought to you by Ballmark, a better greeting card because it's been marked by hairy greasy nuts and robovac, like your pool cleaner another stupid thing that turns on and cleans, but never quite good enough for you to not have to go back over its work anyway.)

Ugh how childish and I cant believe they actually let you online some people are less then human. dont judge by the cover. Please reconsider revising this because it sucks.

Less then funny

Fantastic. but why is this a pimple poem?